fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
