last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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