why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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