Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize