WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
bring money and cleavage
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
