tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Alive.
So much puke
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
