8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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