We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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