Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize