just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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