Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
