just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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