Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
