Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
