You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
