What a fucking waste of an outfit
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
