the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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