If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize