My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
