I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
