She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
