I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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