Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize