I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
