I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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