she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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