He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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