I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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