Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
