Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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