god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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