Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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