Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
