just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
