At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
