It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
