Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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