): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
