Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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