Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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