Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
