So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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