i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize