You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
