She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
