I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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