Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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