Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
