well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
