She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So much Jack, so little girl.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
