so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
