I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
