That's intense
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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