I want to stick my p in your. b.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
