You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
