He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
