We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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