Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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