It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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